I recently took my 6th negative pregnancy test. Filled with hormones I ended up crying on the yoga mat on the floor. That’s a little bit out of character for me… I’m not usually someone who cries a lot, I (still) automatically shut every feeling inside of my heart so that no one can see them. That’s not how I prefer to handle my feelings, but it takes a bit of time to learn new, and I’m really trying to crawl out of my own comfort zone. In a way, the IVF-hormones has helped me to meet my feelings which I’m grateful for even if it might sound crazy.

Märta and I have decided to take a short break from our IVF-journey. It’s hard and it sucks energy from everything. We need to have some fun again! To feel normal again, reboot on love and energy and not think about hormones, sympthoms, counting all sorts of days here and there and other things that might lead to a plus on the stick. IVF does crazy things to your mind and body, that’s for sure.

There is something special about the IVF community online. All of us who are struggling, exposing our bodies for hard hormone treatments, meet various obstacles in the same storm. No one knows in advance how long the journey will be, but we know exactly what everyone is going through. I’m glad that we decided to talk openly about our journey. It has been harder than I ever imagined. I thought I was going to get pregnant in an instant and now, four inseminations and two IVF-tries later, I’m still not pregnant…

We have two little perfect embryos left in the freezer at the fertility clinic. Two more chances to get pregnant. My gut feeling recently told me that my body needed a break and I am listening.

Once again, THANK YOU for your love and support! It means a lot to us and it helps us get through this – you are PAWSOME!    

Now I’m off to Märtas Pilates class. Enjoy your evening (or morning) everyone!

Maria