Creating the life of our dreams – ANYTHING is Pawsible!

Month: October 2017 (Page 1 of 2)

Spiritual Sunday

To discover and know the light within you,  is a big part of the spiritual journey. 

Tonight I joined a friend who wanted to attend a seans for the first time. This transformation from never imagening attending anything spiritual, thinking and acting only with and from our mind to open up and discover more to ourselves as a spiritual being, usually happens when we lose someone close to us. So was the case for my friend. Death can be birth in disguise not only for the soul crossing over but also for the ones left behind <3 

For me, let’s just say it was not my first contact with the spirit world.. I’ll get back to you on that, I promise. It’s one of my favourite topics. ? 

The seans was good, but even better was the lovely time me and my friend spent connecting after the seans – talking about life. It happened to take place at a cosy Italian restaurant that was open nearby. Luckily for us, cause a candle lit little table in the window corner felt just like the right place to escape the storm outside and to connect. To spirit, to each other, to life. Laughter and tears. 

So thank you life and Lotta, for a lovely Sunday evening. I hope you all had a wounderful weekend <3 

Lots of love ~ Märta 

Baby journey

This dark Saturday afternoon here in Stockholm, I’m sitting at our big dining table with my new computer, a cup of hot green tea, and just enjoying the calmness. Maria is on the sofa reading a book (a Swedish Classic, that also was made a musical by the Abba duo; Benny and Björn. Maybe you can guess which book it is? 🙂 ). It is so silent and calm. Just what I needed after a hectic week. 

This morning I had a Pilates class and then a distant healing session with a client. After that I sliped in to a hot bath with lavender essential oil and scoup of coconut oil. I feel like a little baby but now 😉 

Talking about babies, as promised I’ll share with you what is going on with our baby plans as for now. For you who saw the first blog post here on Pawsome moms, know that we just got a negative answear on the pregnancy test. We had made our second try of IVF, that didn’t stick. Now we have two more embryos in the freezer (amazing isn’t it?!) waiting for us. 

 

After the last attempt, Maria said she wanted a short break before going at it again. I thouth it was good. The hormones had taken a turn on her and a rest would be for the best. But after a month passing by and a little sisterly advice from my older sister Gina, Maria felt that she wasn’t in good shape to get pregnant. Her coming back from her burnout has taken a long time and is still an ongoing process. Maria said that looking back a year from now when we were in the middle of insemination attempts, she can’t belive how she thouth she would get pregnant. “My body and mind was so not in the state for a pregnancy, but my will of having a child made me blind to se that. I don’t want to make the same misstake again. Looking back and woundering what the h*** I was thinking.” 

Me, on the other hand, have had a gut feeling for a long time that we should start our projects of living our lifes much more freely and working for getting to that point before we have children (Yes I hope we might have two 😉 but one would be wounderful). And I have been conserned about Marias health, what it would mean to go through a pregnancy and then becoming a parent at the state she was in. That did also put a huge feeling of responsibility on my shoulders..  
I felt some what relieved when we deicded to pospone our last two trials of IVF for the future. We both really want to give those last two tries our best <3

We haven’t sat a time limit, we just said that we will give it a longer break now, until Maria feels fine and we are on board with our “Freedom Projects”. 

Oh one more thing!… We have started to look at adoptions. That would just be wounderful 🙂 Let´s see what the future holds! And for sure it holds a Dream trip.. let’s just say Christmas will be very warm this year 😉 

Lots of love ~ Märta 

Flying high on a friday night

Last winter I told Maria that this is the last winter I will spend in Sweden. I said “From now on, unless we are blessed with a newborn, I will spend one month of the winter somewhere warm and sunny. That’s it, at least one month during the winter time from now on – life is too short to wait.” I was cold, sick, tired and determined. I also strongly believe energy flows where attention goes. 

So before being invited out for dinner tonight – I booked the tickets!!! 😀 


Salt laquorice sauce with almond floof and raspberry sorbet – so good.. Thank you Ingrid <3 

Can you guess where we are going? 

Tomorrow, after the morning Pilates class, I will tell you about our travel plans and… what is going on with our baby plans 😉 

I wish you all a beautiful Friday <3 / Märta 

Dancing Queens 

I was going to tell you about this week, many exhiting and beautiful things has happened! Yoga and Pilates classes almost everyday. Interesting, lovely people, my special tuesday activity .. 😉 and plenty more. But!!… I have a problem to solve. Can you help me?  

A wannabe Dancing Queen (?).. at her former work place. 😉 

You see my best friend J, is coming to visit next weekend. Great! With her she brings her 4 year old son and her wife. All good. Maria and I will be baby sitting on Friday night so that the lovely ladies can go out for some fun with my best friends wifes family who is gathered in Stockholm for the weekend. 

My best friend J and me. 

So here it is – me and J want to go out dancing on Saturday! 😀 Caramba! Yeay! It’s a gay party and all! I haven’t been out dancing in ages. It was actually Maria’s idea. She wants to go too! Grrreat! 

Cray fish Swedish tradition with J last year. Maria doesn’t like Cray fish so the best way to eat it is with someone else. Preferably this one 🙂 

But how shall we conivince the wife of my best friend that going out dancing is a great idea, while she has to stay in with theire son?!? 

I know it may sound a bit selfish.. but I only see my friend so rarely, so lets hope we can come up with something that works. Maria even calls my friend J “my dance girlfriend” ? Luckily Maria is not the jealous typ. I love her for it! (But she hasn’t got a reason to be jealous anyway ? ? ) 

So…. will we be Dancing Queens next weekend or…? 

Well, let’s see 😉 

Lots of love and Dance to you all! Xoxo <3 

Autumn vibes

One year ago from today, we spent the whole day and night at the ER before I had to be submitted to the hospital
Let’s just say that I am grateful for the year that has passed by. Parts of it have been really painful and I wouldn’t want to do it again. But it also came with insights. I am eternally grateful for my health. 

Everything happens for a reason and the things that we like to label bad, are usually events that come with great transformation and a big goodie bag. At the end. We just need to ride out the storm, do our best, remember the peace inside us and walk the walk. And look for beauty in life even when we are at our worst. Im not saying to ignore our sorrows or trying to replace our sadness with over-enthusiastic happy smiles. Absolutely not. But too look for the beauty in life with a grace and knowingness that it is all there for a reason and it is all there for me. By me, for me, of me. All is connected. 

So.. looking back at this tough past year… I now look forward to our upcoming events, adventures and everyday life 🙂 

Stay tuned to join us in shaping our lifes  the way we dream of!  

The autumn here has been beautiful! Here are some pics from last week of autumn in Stockholm and our neighborhood. 

(Nooo we didn’t steal a baby! I was on a walk with my good friend Ingrid and her little Thedore in Hammarby Sjöstad 😉 )

Lots of love ~ Märta 

The story of Märta & Maria (Part 2)

Okay, so I added Märta on Facebook. What happened then?

If you missed Part 1 you can read it here.

Snoop around

You need to be smart about social media when it comes to dating. Snoop around and don’t leave any trails behind (I’m excellent at that btw), unfortunately Märta had a closed profile. I almost couldn’t access any info on her through her Facebook page without adding her. Crap. Solution —> add her late at night, but not too late because you don’t want her to be asleep, because then she can’t accept our friend request…

I added Märta around 11 p.m. She accepted in an instant. Perfect, we are now connected on Facebook but it’s “to late” to communicate, we now have ALL NIGHT to go through each other’s Facebook pages and see if the other is a freak or actually seems to be a sane person. (Remember, I just came from bad relationship, no more weird chicks for me).

The morning after

All pressure was on me. I added HER which (in dating language) means that I have to send a first message to her. And I did, on the subway to work.

Overtime at work 2013

This first message was the beginning of a VERY long and exciting conversation online. We had so much to talk about and felt a thrilling connection to one another. But there was no time to meet. I had a massive deadline at work coming up and at the same time I was moving out from my ex (who kept our apartment with her new girlfriend) to my own apartment. What a relief to have my own space! I can’t even begin to explain how good it felt to finally be able to breathe again. To feel free.

Absolutely FREE at Pride 2013 🙂

Me, mom, sister and niece at Pride 2013

Märta also had a packed schedule. She was in London visiting a friend and all other free time went to her family, and especially to her father who was very ill.  

Each day that passed made me more and more curious about this hot chick that Åsa and Katja matched me together with. I couldn’t wait to meet her! My gut feeling had spoken the same moment that I heard her name for the first time, and I knew that she was the one, my soulmate.

I felt happy for the first time in years and so relieved to have my own place. I moved to the newest part of Stockholm which is called Hammarby Sjöstad, I had a hunch that this was the right place for me, not knowing much about Stockholm (and this was possible only because of the amount of overtime I spent in the office during the last decade). It was summer In Sweden and I could watch the boats pass by below from my pawsome balcony. It was just a studio apartment but it was a great one! I remember feeling proud that I once managed to move from a small city and work my way up in the big city to be able to buy this (small) studio.  What a great feeling! It didn’t matter to me that I barley had any furniture. No bed and no sofa. But with an inflatable mattress on the floor my confidence was on top. Time to meet Märta!

Who needs furniture when you have chairs, music and coffee?

We decided to meet on the same day as my deadline at work was due (because I couldn’t wait a day longer at this point!).

When I saw her turn her beautiful face to the sky and heard her wonderful, contagious laughter I knew she was my soulmate. It took me about 45 minutes. Just one small problem though, Märta certainly didn’t know this and neither did the waitress who was flirting with Märta during our dinner…

(Not that many pictures of us from that first time).

To be continued.

 

 

 

The wedding planner 

…visited us today! She is a rare sight in our home, especially since neither Maria or I have yet popped the big question(!). But here she was at our home having dinner – red wine, lit candles and cauliflower pizza. Friday Fiesta 🙂  

The wedding planner dived in to details about invitations, goodiebags, party theme etc. I mostly laughed – for fun, or out of pure nervousness.. Help me! What is this?!? ;P 

Here she is  – our wedding planner: 

Oh did I mention she is our self-appointed wedding planner. 

Have you put two and two together yet? 

Ohh you guessed it right – it is Marias sister Christel! 

I’ve never dreamt of a big wedding. Acctually I’ve never dreamt about a wedding at all. Freedom lover as I am. And maybe a bit “unattatched” growing up moving around. Also I wasn’t good at expressing my emotions before, it was scary and my mom used to call me a little clam. 

But… living with Maria has made me think again… and… 

Being married to her doesn’t sound so bad 😉 

And to be honest… I LOVE how Christel keeps asking about our wedding and planning it like it is soon to happen. How lucky aren’t  I to have a “sister in law” loving me so much she’s nagging about getting me hitched with her sister?  

Christel is now on the train back to the west coast. Leaving us on our own, deciding who should pop the question…!?!
Who do you think shall ask – Märta or Maria?

Lots of love and Friday Fiesta to you all! // XOXO Märta

The Change (Part 2)

If you missed Part 1 you can read it here

My burnout is still hard to talk about. I guess I still feel ashamed. (How could this happen to me? How did I not see this coming? Am I a week person?) Not as ashamed as in the beginning though. During the first couple of months I couldn’t even go out on my balcony at daytime. What if the neighbors saw that I wasn’t at work! What if they thought that I was just lazy being at home. At this time, I hadn’t understood myself what has happened to me, and I sure as hell hadn’t accepted it. I’m still struggling to accept.  

My company for the long days was anxiety and pain in my body. Physically I almost didn’t make it out of the bed, I was so tired. I remember that I was really nervous before my second doctor’s appointment. Not because of the meeting with the doctor, I wasn’t sure I had enough energy for the short walk over to the doctor’s office, a 4-minute walk felt impossible for me to manage and very freightening.

During the last months before my collapse I hardly slept at night. As soon as I closed my eyed, I started to think about work. Planning and prioritizing my impossible workload at the office. I didn’t love my job anymore. It was harder and harder to be on time at the office in the morning. I was deeply depressed at this time, but I had no clue. The toxins that had accumulated in my body through lack of sleep are certain to have impaired both my physical and mental performance. My concentration and memory was also affected. Tired during the day, irritable and fatigued, and yet unable to sleep at night.

When I finally crashed I was scared, scared for my health for the first time in my life. What was happening to me? I didn’t function anymore, not my brain and not my body. It felt like I was imprisoned in my own body.

But I must tell you – this is the best thing that ever happened to me!

You must think I’m crazy, but I’m not. I look at these years (and they are not over yet) as an investment in myself and my family. I know my life will be so much better when I get through this. I know I can find real happiness in the near future because of the insights that come along with this experience. I’ve learned a lot and I’m still learning. I treat myself, my loved ones and my life differently (even though I still fall into old patterns from time to time). I’m finally excited about what the future brings!

Happy hips! And sweat pants Sunday..

I am planning next weeks yoga class and I intend to give my yogis some Happy hips! By my side I have the Zen master, Napoleon – the cat in Stockholm. 

When studying Napoleon, I learn from the best about being present, savasana (resting pose in yoga) and playing, just for the fun of it  🙂 

In eastern medicin it is said that in the hips we store our past. In western medicin we say stiff hips is due to sitting still a lot, which we do nowadays. Either way (or any other way for that matter) opening up and strenghtening the hips is really good for us. After a Happy hip yoga class I usually feel so much more grounded and light at the same time. 

Let’s see what this weeks classes will bring! 

Namasté and lots of purrrrr ???❤ 

Nom nom Namaskar 

Last night was a lot of fun! I wish I could show you some pics but they were blurry. ;P 

The only thing I have is a video when the friend crew burst into song right before  the movie at our cinema started playing (a childrens song in all excitement!). It was wounderful and weird. Imagine Wonder Women, childrens song and sushi all at once, then you’ve got the picture 😉 

Our friends are really beautiful <3 I wish to spend more time with them. I see them way too rarely, with everyday-busy-scheduel, life is just rushing by. I will change that. Though right now, to change that and make more time and room for friends I need to work hard and focus to create the space I want. I am motivated! 

Today, however, Maria and I decided to take a work break and go for lunch at this new restaurant in Hammarby Sjöstad, called Namaskar Bistro. (Have I told you I am a sucker for good food?!?) They served indian tapas that tasted like heaven! Just look at this: 

So here I am, stuffed and with Napoleon on my lap, not moving an inch. Wishing you a happy weekend – Namasté! 

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