This dark Saturday afternoon here in Stockholm, I’m sitting at our big dining table with my new computer, a cup of hot green tea, and just enjoying the calmness. Maria is on the sofa reading a book (a Swedish Classic, that also was made a musical by the Abba duo; Benny and Björn. Maybe you can guess which book it is? 🙂 ). It is so silent and calm. Just what I needed after a hectic week.
This morning I had a Pilates class and then a distant healing session with a client. After that I sliped in to a hot bath with lavender essential oil and scoup of coconut oil. I feel like a little baby but now 😉
Talking about babies, as promised I’ll share with you what is going on with our baby plans as for now. For you who saw the first blog post here on Pawsome moms, know that we just got a negative answear on the pregnancy test. We had made our second try of IVF, that didn’t stick. Now we have two more embryos in the freezer (amazing isn’t it?!) waiting for us.
After the last attempt, Maria said she wanted a short break before going at it again. I thouth it was good. The hormones had taken a turn on her and a rest would be for the best. But after a month passing by and a little sisterly advice from my older sister Gina, Maria felt that she wasn’t in good shape to get pregnant. Her coming back from her burnout has taken a long time and is still an ongoing process. Maria said that looking back a year from now when we were in the middle of insemination attempts, she can’t belive how she thouth she would get pregnant. “My body and mind was so not in the state for a pregnancy, but my will of having a child made me blind to se that. I don’t want to make the same misstake again. Looking back and woundering what the h*** I was thinking.”
Me, on the other hand, have had a gut feeling for a long time that we should start our projects of living our lifes much more freely and working for getting to that point before we have children (Yes I hope we might have two 😉 but one would be wounderful). And I have been conserned about Marias health, what it would mean to go through a pregnancy and then becoming a parent at the state she was in. That did also put a huge feeling of responsibility on my shoulders..
I felt some what relieved when we deicded to pospone our last two trials of IVF for the future. We both really want to give those last two tries our best <3
We haven’t sat a time limit, we just said that we will give it a longer break now, until Maria feels fine and we are on board with our “Freedom Projects”.
Oh one more thing!… We have started to look at adoptions. That would just be wounderful 🙂 Let´s see what the future holds! And for sure it holds a Dream trip.. let’s just say Christmas will be very warm this year 😉
Lots of love ~ Märta